Hello and welcome back!

            I’m so happy that you’re here to join me for part 5 of the #HowISurvivedHighSchool series.  If you missed out on any of the previous parts, you can catch up here:

Part1

Part2

Part3

Part4

            First and foremost, before I get started with today’s post I want to take a minute to say thank you for all the support I’ve received on my last post.  It was not an easy thing for me to put out there, but I really believe God wanted me to share that message because I think it’s a message that’s important for the young people to hear in the midst of a world where everything is sexualized and there’s so much peer pressure.  So I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the support and encouraging messages I received after last week’s post.

            Today I want to talk about something that’s not only important in high school; but is something that will follow you for the rest of your life: your social reputation.  Now I want to stress that this is not about caring what people think of you- that’s not it at all.  What I mean is building a good reputation so you can earn respect from people around you.  I’ve spent the last 4 years working on this particular aspect of life and let me tell you, having a good reputation will serve you very well in years to come.  Basically you’re just doing yourself a favor now.

            So what exactly does it mean to have a good reputation?  Everyone has different definitions for what a good reputation is, but to me someone with a good reputation exhibits the following characteristics: holds themselves well in bad situations, has good time management skills, and acts maturely.  You want to be known for having good characteristics, not bad ones.   I can think of a few people I know who are just outstanding at what they do and people know them and love them for the good things they’ve done and their kindness.  That is a good reputation.  I also know a few people who fall into the opposite category.  These people do not have the characteristics of a good reputation and are known only for the bad choices they’ve unfortunately made.  That is not a good reputation.

            Why then is it important to build your reputation in high school?  As I mentioned before, starting now will benefit you later, especially when it comes to getting decent jobs, applying for colleges, etc.  People who start to drift off to the wrong direction in high school are more likely to have difficulty with those things down the road.  I see this all the time in society and I’m sure you have too.  People who are getting out of jail really struggle with getting back on their feet and living a decent life because their crimes are now glued to their name.

            I did a blog post awhile back on temptation.  Let me tell you, temptation is a devil in high school.  However, if you can fight it then, it will be much easier to fight it in the future.  I think the reason temptation is so present in high school in particular is because everyone is so easily influenced and it’s easy to give into peer pressure.  I remember one time a few years ago I took a character development class and we had to fill out this paper and on it was a list of questions and we had to answer how likely we were to give into bad situations.  I remember filling out that paper and checking all the boxes that said “not very likely to” and afterwards thinking “would I actually be able to say no?”  I think sometimes we can be so naïve and think “if it’s just this one time it won’t hurt me.”  I’ve learned over and over that no matter how big or small it may seem there’s always going to be consequences.

            There will always be consequences to every action.  No one likes to hear that and I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you, but hear me out because I’m trying to save you now.  The worst part about being a good kid is watching others make the wrong choices and trying to be the one to tell them they don’t have to or shouldn’t do it.  I’m tired of being the bystander to bad situations, witnessing things I wish I hadn’t seen, and hearing things I wish I had never heard.  It’s hard.  Especially when people are telling you “you’re so pure and boring, you don’t know how to have any fun.”  But to me, five minutes of “fun” isn’t worth a lifetime of consequences.  It just isn’t.

            I’ve had people tell me before “it’s okay, sure I messed up but Jesus forgives me and still loves me.”  As true as that statement is, it’s not a free pass to do stuff you know is wrong.   We are lucky to serve a merciful, forgiving God but that is not an excuse to do whatever we want.  Forgiveness does not erase the weight of our sin.  Furthermore, we must confess and acknowledge our mistakes before we can even be forgiven.  In Acts 3:19 it says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”

            If you gathered anything from this short message, I hope it will encourage you to stray from the temptations of high school and to not conform to the ways of this modern world.  Sometimes it feels like you’re missing out on the fun you could be having now, but I promise in the long run you will be successful and the people who made the wrong choices will be the ones missing out on greater opportunities.  It’s very rewarding, I promise you. 

Hi there, welcome back to the blog!

            Today I’m back with another part of #HowISurvivedHighSchool.  I’d like to know, are you guys enjoying it?  Is there anything specific you’d like me to talk about at some point during the series?  Leave me a comment or connect with me on social media and let me know.  Also, if you aren’t caught up with the first two parts, I’ll link them here:

As always, I’m going to copy and paste the “rules” I posted in the first post.  It’s important for me to mention them every time because I don’t want anything I say here to be taken out of context. 

1.  This is a 6 week series and a new part will be posted each Wednesday (so mark your calendars.)

2.  I am NOT here to call anyone out or speak poorly of anyone I’ve encountered throughout my High School career.  That’s not my vibe and my intentions of writing these posts are to encourage; not to bring anyone down.

3.  I will be talking about certain people I’ve encountered and things I’ve experienced, but please know that NO NAMES will be mentioned; if a name has to be used it will be changed.

4.  All the things I am going to tell you are true and are my stories that I have a right to tell.

5.  Please read/listen with open ears and hearts.

6.  Some of the topics I will be discussing are mature and very series at times so if you can’t handle the intensity, please feel free to click out at any time.

So today I wanted to talk about a very important part of high school: friends.  Friends play a very significant role in your life so I think it’s important to build ones that last.  Unfortunately I’ve had very little luck with that, especially in high school, and I’ve learned that most people are going to come and go out of your life but there will always be those few people who come into your life and stay for a long time.

I remember at the end of 8^th grade I saw this post online and it said “the people you hang out with in middle school aren’t going to be around for all of high school” and now at the end of high school I can fully confirm that saying is 100% true.  During high school everyone goes through so many changes and sometimes people don’t change with you.  Furthermore, high school is vastly different from middle school; it’s almost like a totally different world.  Everyone is basically trying to figure out themselves and who they are as a person.  Sometimes this creates tension in your relationships.

So in high school there are these things called “cliques.”  What that is essentially is a group of people that gravitate towards each other in large groups.  In a sociology class I took a while back, we learned that people with similar personalities tend to form these cliques.  However, from what I’ve seen, cliques are just another way to stereotype.  You’ll see where this information comes into play when it comes to friendships in a moment.

Something I haven’t talked about much on here is my experience at co-op.  Some of you probably don’t know what it is, so I’ll explain quickly.  What it is basically is a group of homeschool families that meets weekly to have classes like art, science, and drama, in addition to the work at home.  I was involved in my co-op for 8 years.  Looking back, there were a few pleasant memories made, but for me it was just not a good environment for me to grow up in.  Out of all the people that were there and friends I made, on this current day I am not in contact with any of them.  I’ll get to why in a bit.

In my grade there were 3 cliques.  The first one was made up of the “popular” kids, if you will.  The second group was the kids who were the quiet, more introverted ones and the last group were the kids with disabilities.  It sounds so stereotypical, but for the purpose of this post you need to know.  As the years went on and we got older, it only became more stereotypical.  In the beginning it was easy to do group activities because everyone talked to everyone, but the “popular group” only became more distant from everyone else.

You might be wondering where I fit into these groups.  To be honest, I really didn’t fit into any of them; I just bounced around between all three because I really tried to get along with everyone.  My longtime best friend was in the popular group so I spent a lot of time with them, but I didn’t really fit in with them and was often left out or in the back of the group.  No big deal at first, I still hung around the other groups.

Then something happened in summer of 2014 that changed the course of my friendships with these people.  I’m not going to take the time to explain what happened, but long story short me and one of the populars had a very public falling out on social media.  It resulted in most people taking sides, and everyone pretty much took this other girl’s side.  The situation itself is not significant anymore but the tension never left. Life went on though, this girl and I never reconciled (even after I made 2 attempts) but everyone else seemed to get along just fine.

There were some big problems with these people.  The popular ones.  There is a reason I eventually chose to distance myself from them.  At co-op they were constantly having attitudes, making unkind remarks to other students, and just flat out acting stuck-up.  There is no better word for it.  There were major bullying issues and the adults did next to nothing about it.  Some of them even contributed to the problems.  People were skipping out of gym because the teacher always favorited the populars and the other kids weren’t treated fairly.  Some of the behavior I witnessed from these kids makes me sick to my stomach to this day whenever I think about it.  One time, one of the said popular kids said to my friend (and I quote) “I’m better than you.”  I’m.better.than.you.  No other context, just “I’m better than you.”  I will never be able to erase that from my mind.  And her attitude that came with it, her parents should be ashamed. 

One thing I’ve learned after all these years is that sometimes you don’t realize how badly you’re being treated until that person is out of your life.  The way things ended with these people was far from good terms, but I’m so happy they are out of my life because I have people in my life now that made me realize how bad these people were for me.  I haven’t spoken to these people in two years.  However, I have ran into them a few times in public since then and I have to say, for people who proudly call themselves “Christians”, their behavior towards me was far from Christian like.  Little or no eye contact, pretending I’m not even there at all, not even a wave or smile.  It’s really hard to believe they were what I once called my best friends.

After going through a very, very dark and scary period of my life in 2017, things finally started to look up.  I wasn’t feeling depressed anymore, I actually wanted to leave my house, and I met some new amazing people who have changed my life.  People who genuinely care about me, make time to spend with me, and aren’t ashamed to be seen with me.  They helped me get to a better place in my life and allow me to be myself.  I thank God for giving me the strength to let the bad ones go and for bringing better people into my life.

There’s a quote by Alexander Graham Bell that I think beautifully illustrate this: “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”   I like to remind myself of this whenever a relationship ends or an opportunity falls through.  There is always a reason and most of the time it’s because God is making room for bigger and better things.  So if things aren’t going well right now, just remember that it could be a sign that there are better things coming.

I want to be completely honest with you for a moment.  I recently celebrated my graduation (which I’ll be talking about in an upcoming post) and I had three friends show up.  Now I had plenty of other people too, but my point is, you can have all the friends in the world but out of all those there will only be a few real ones.  I didn’t even think about the people who didn’t come because I’m thankful I have three really good friends that took the time to celebrate my graduation with me.  I’d take that over having many fake friends any day.

So if you take away anything from this post, here’s three main points I want you to remember.  First, don’t hangout where you know you don’t fit in.  Second, let go of those unhealthy relationships in your life!  Remember, when a door closes another one opens.  Third, value your close friends.  They are the ones that are going to be around for a long time. 

Hey there, welcome back to my blog!

            In case you haven’t heard, I’m in the middle of a series called #HowISurvivedHighSchool.  If you clicked on this post and saw the title, you should already know.  So this is going to be part 2, but if you haven’t read part one, you can read that post here. 

            In the last post I made some “rules” about this series.  I’m going to post them again in every post just so we’re all in the same understanding.  Today I’m going to talk about some pretty heavy stuff so feel free to click out at any point.

1.  This is a 6 week series and a new part will be posted each Wednesday (so mark your calendars.)

2.  I am NOT here to call anyone out or speak poorly of anyone I’ve encountered throughout my High School career.  That’s not my vibe and my intentions of writing these posts are to encourage; not to bring anyone down.

3.  I will be talking about certain people I’ve encountered and things I’ve experienced, but please know that NO NAMES will be mentioned; if a name has to be used it will be changed.

4.  All the things I am going to tell you are true and are my stories that I have a right to tell.

5.  Please read/listen with open ears and hearts.

6.  Some of the topics I will be discussing are mature and very series at times so if you can’t handle the intensity, please feel free to click out at any time.

            Today I want to address something that is becoming a huge issue in our society: the fact that teenagers are gaining such a bad reputation in society and how I avoided being “one of those kids”.  I want to speak mostly to my younger audience, but I want the older ones to listen with open ears so that maybe you’ll understand that we aren’t all the same.

So one time I was at work and just to give you a little background of this story, it was pretty early in the morning and I hadn't had enough coffee yet to get me going. It was also the day after the 4th of July and the night before I was up late working at the county fair so you can imagine how tired I was.  Anyway, this lady sitting at the counter says to me “you look like you were up late partying.”  Now keep in mind I did know her and knew she was only joking, but it got me thinking. I thought, “Well that's probably what most people my age did last night so no wonder someone would assume something like that.”

I think the reason my generation has such a bad reputation these days is due to the small fraction that do choose to go down the wrong paths. Those are the ones who you see in the news stories. “Local teens vandalize park equipment”, “a group of teens were found guilty in a drug case”, and so forth.  You rarely ever see people my age make the news for something good.  It’s depressing, really.  While we’re on the topic, just a small piece of advice: don’t read the news.  It really puts a damper on your potential to live care free.

So what causes kids to go down the wrong path?  There are many answers to this question and it all depends on the case you’re looking at.  Some possibilities can be mental health, physical health, bad influences, and family.  Now I’m not a psychologist or anything but I can tell you almost every single person I know personally who has had drug/alcohol problems also has family issues at home.  Which actually makes sense if you think about it; compare the divorce rate (40-50%) to the percentage of teens who have misused drugs (50%) and alcohol (63%.)  This is certainly not the case with every teen, but there is clearly a relationship between the two.

Enough statistics though, I want to tell you a little bit about how this relates to my life and how it affected my High School career.  First and foremost, I want to say that I have never misused any type of drug or drank any type of alcohol during my High School career.  Period.  Why?  The short answer is frankly because it doesn’t sound appealing to me.  Now let me make it clear that because we’re talking about High School there is ALWAYS the pressure to “do what everyone else is doing” and to “fit in with the crowd.” 

The devil is very good at filling our minds and ears with tempting thoughts.  I along with probably almost every single High Schooler in America have struggled with temptation at some point or another.  It’s difficult when you’re still growing up and figuring everything out and the people around you are already dealing with adult issues.  I think one of the hardest parts is being in the middle and watching someone you love destroy their life and their relationships because they gave into the temptation.

One of the biggest reasons that keeps me from being one of them is because I’ve seen this happen over and over again to people I know and love dearly.  It’s heartbreaking because they get so caught up in being on this high and feeling good that they don’t realize how they’re destroying their life until it’s too late.  And you can’t even help them because they’re so bound to this new lifestyle.  I had someone one time trying to convince me that smoking weed is good for you.  You have to be head deep in lies to believe that.  I suppose it makes people feel better about themselves if they try to twist their addiction into something that “benefits their health.”

The best thing you can do in your High School career to avoid being caught up in the same lies as everyone else is to surround yourself with the right people.  It only takes one unhealthy relationship to develop the same habits as them and I think that’s what happens to a lot of people in High School.  Find people who will make sure you’re staying on the right path and will hold you accountable for your actions.  It is much easier to go to someone and say “hey, I’m struggling with temptation again.  Can you help me?”  Then to try to fight it yourself. 

No one prepared me for some of the issues that I had to deal with.  The thing was, they weren’t my own issues but they still affected me nonetheless.  People always taught me how to say no to being peer pressured into it myself but no one taught me how to help others who are struggling with it.   No one prepared me for the phone call I got one night from a friend after a bad breakup saying they had one too many beers that night.  No one prepared me to watch someone get kicked out of youth group because they were high.  The only thing worse than dealing with the issues yourself is being a bystander and watching it happen to someone else.  That will always be enough reason for me to say no.

            I have too good of a life to just throw it all away for a high that’s only temporary.  I’ve worked hard to be respected in society and part of that is not involving myself in things that could potentially ruin the reputation I’ve worked so hard to gain.  And I hope and pray that this message opens the eyes of someone who may be struggling with one of these issues.  Because trust me, once you get to the point in your life where you’re happier than any drug or drink makes you; you won’t ever want to change that.

National drug/alcohol Helpline: 1-888-633-3239

Think of the last time you held a baby.  Maybe it was your own child, grandchild, niece, or nephew.  Whoever it was, just think about it for a minute.  Now think about that child being taken out of your life.  Think about that baby not having a laugh or cry.  Not even a heartbeat.  Imagine a world without a baby’s laughter.  What would it be like? 

                In the year 2014, approximately 926,240 abortions took place in just the U.S. alone.  That’s thousands of lives being taken away before they even have a voice.  Thousands of innocent babies that could have had a whole life ahead of them.  In my opinion, killing anything with a heartbeat is murder.  No exceptions.  Not in any case should it be legal to murder.  Whether you can see the life being taken or not, it is still a life. 

                Some women will state that their pregnancy was an “accident”, though I think it would be unfair to consider consensual sex an “accident”.  If it was, then it would be an accident that could have been easily prevented and by no means am I referring to birth control.  I don’t believe in birth control, or any other form of what people these days consider “safe sex”.  You know when sex is safe?  When you have a ring on your finger, a roof over your head, and a job to provide you with the finances to care for a child.  It’s as simple as that.  Until you have those things, all it takes is the word “no”.

                But what about circumstances such as rape?  Surprisingly, only 5% of the 957 women who provided a reason for their abortion were rape victims.  That’s a small amount compared to the 25% who said they just weren’t ready for a child.  But again, I bring back my point that it should never be legal to murder under any circumstances.  Whether you were ready or not, killing is never the answer to your problem.

                There is, however, a healthier alternative for both the pregnant woman and the unborn child.  There are many couples in the world that would love to have a child but are physically unable to because of diseases such as Chlamydia that cause sterility in both male and female reproductive organs.  This is why it may be a wise choice for pregnant women to put their baby up for adoption after it is born.  Young children usually get adopted quickly and go to a loving home.  Doesn’t that sound like a much better alternative to abortion?

                Considering that most women said that they just weren’t ready for a child, ultimately the best decision would be to not even make it a possibility.  It’s that easy, and the safest, healthiest way to prevent pregnancy and women will never have to even face the decision of abortion.  As I stated before, taking birth control can minimize the chances of pregnancy but it is not 100% guaranteed, and often includes side effects such as headaches, weight gain, and can even increase the chances of a heart attack.  Not to mention that forgetting to take it will not allow it to work at all.

                As we are entering 2017, the numbers of pregnancies of young women ages 15-19 are growing, which means that the numbers of teen abortions are growing as well.  While the abortion rates are the highest in women ages 20-25, teen abortion and unplanned pregnancy is still an issue.  Most teens will drop out of school and never graduate because of parenthood.  It’s saddening to think that young girls just entering High School will have to raise a child (most of the time without the support of the father of the child).  If the awareness of abortion and teen pregnancy can reach girls and women before they have to face the issue, just think of how many abortions can be prevented just by talking about it.

                In most of the stories I’ve heard about women who chose to abort their unborn child, most of them regretted the decision after it was too late.  Then for the rest of their lives they had to live with the guilt of killing an innocent life.  Besides guilt, abortion can also result in depression for the woman who will live the rest of her life remembering what she did.  No one wants to live like that, so why even make it a choice?  And for the women, why make that decision?

                One thing many people argue is that abortion protects women’s rights.  Well, what about the rights of the unborn child who doesn’t even have a voice to make his or her own choices?  Shouldn’t that be considered as well?  Wouldn’t the rights of a baby be just as, or even more, important as the woman’s rights? 

                If there’s one positive thing that comes from unplanned pregnancy, it’s the fact that it teaches the importance of dealing with consequences.  As humans we all make mistakes, and we must deal with the consequences that come from making that mistake.  If abortion is just a way to prevent a consequence, then it would be okay to assume that making that mistake wasn’t a big deal because you’ve gotten around the consequence.  How are we ever going to learn from our mistakes if there aren’t any consequences to deal with?

                To sum things up, abortion is wrong, killing an innocent life is wrong, and anyone who supports abortion needs to spend a few Sundays in church.  It’s sickening to think that there are so many supporters of this hurtful crime, and hopefully one day we will live in a world where it is no longer legal to murder an unborn life.

Today I wanted to touch on somewhat of a lighter topic than my previous posts.  I realize that I can be a very dark and emotional person (because 99.9% of the time I am), and not everyone likes to read that stuff, so today I want to talk about the freedom we have.

            The inspiration of this post comes from the fact that I just finished my World History lesson for the day, which has been growing more and more depressing by the day.  Today I read about the Great Terror (for those who aren’t familiar, the Great Terror took went down in 1937 and 1938 in Russia under the rule of Joseph Stalin who followed the ideas of Communism and punished anyone who dared to go against him.  Similar to Adolf Hitler’s persecution of the Jews in Germany).   And I couldn’t help but think about the wonderful freedom we have here in America.

            Going back to the Great Terror (I might ramble about it because I’m a big History person), it’s hard to believe that millions of innocent people died in what was called the Gulag System, a prison labor camp where millions were worked to death with little or no food and water, not to mention the freezing conditions in Siberia where most of these camps were located.  Some of these people had a right to be there.  They were real criminals who had committed crimes such as murder and deserved to be there.  But most were innocent people such as farmers who wouldn’t give their crops to the government as Stalin had demanded.  They barely had enough food to provide for their families and were not about to give it up to the government.

            Why am I telling you all this sad and depressing History?  Well, I would hope that you already were thankful to live in a free country like America, but if you weren’t, I hope that this information makes you even more grateful.  Now obviously America, just like any other country, has experienced hardships as well, but none nowhere as near as bad as Russia, Germany, and many others.  We have been given rights here in America, such as the freedom of speech and the freedom for each person to choose their religion.

            Tomorrow (Friday, January 20) is Inauguration Day, the second reason why I chose to write about this.  Donald J. Trump will take the oath of office and become the next President of the United States.  I’m not going to go into politics right now because I’m so done with talking about it and if you know me, you already know my opinion (but let me know if you want another post on politics because I’d be more than happy to write it).  Anyway, back to what I was saying.  Some people are upset about the results of the election, but please remember that we are still a country.  We are still united under the Constitution and no president can ever change that.

            History shapes us.  It makes us who we are today.  We as humans are meant to make mistakes, and also to learn something from them.  I say this all the time, but there IS a reason for everything.  Things don’t just happen with no explanation.  Sometimes it is meant for us to know the explanation, other times we will never know.  All I can say is that the future of this country is not in the hands of the President.  Our country was founded on the grounds of Christianity.  Whether you choose to believe or not is something only you can decide, but Christians know that God has a plan for this country, as well as every other country on Earth and no person can ever change that.