Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Why I started a YouTube channel

Hey guys,

So as you may (or may not) know, I recently started my YouTube channel.  This is something I said I’d probably never do, so I’m sure you’re probably very confused.  Therefore, I wanted to make this post and kind of explain my thought process and why I finally decided to start one.

First of all, I know what you’re thinking because I believe I’ve said several times on here that I’d never do YouTube.  You can even go back and probably find where I said I’d never do it, but guess what?  Sometimes I change my mind (a lot, actually.)  The reason why is because as much as I enjoy writing and blogging, I felt as if I needed another space to create.  Almost as if I was in a room that was too small and needed to upgrade to a bigger one to have more room.

            For the past few months I’ve been going through something really strange.  And the reason I say strange is because my life has been so amazing and everything has been going really well, but it felt as if something was missing.  I felt like I needed something new, something to give me purpose.  I think one of the reasons I felt this way was because the people around me were thriving in their hobbies, businesses, or whatever they were doing, which is great, but I felt like I didn’t have anything like that. 

            I know you’re thinking “but Megan, you have a blog, you write,” and that is all very true and I LOVE what I do, but my heart just wasn’t in it for a while.  Maybe you’ve noticed my lack of posts recently.  My views have gone down and I think it was because I wasn’t putting my full effort into my posts, I would just write something so I would have something to post.  It was just hard watching other people becoming so successful and I felt like I was burning out or going the opposite direction.

            Now I’ve always enjoyed watching YouTube videos.  Whenever I have free time I love watching vlogs, tutorials, and lifestyle related videos.  However, I never thought I would ever do it.  I wasn’t comfortable in front of a camera and I just didn’t know where to start.  One day I was watching Eva Gutowski (one of the first YouYubers I started watching actually.  LOVE her) and she was experimenting with a new style of vlogging, one that had more cinematic shots in it (link to that video here to explain what I'm talking about.)  I was super inspired after watching it and I thought to myself, well why can’t I do that?

            And after that, the rest was history.  Now if you have already watched my first video (which if you’re here then why haven’t you?), I’d just like to say I have a long way to go.  I filmed everything myself which took a long time, along with editing which took at least 4 hours (learning how to edit took the longest.)  So yes, my first few videos will probably be slightly lower quality until I figure everything out.  I’m looking forward to learning more about filming and editing, as well as investing in better equipment.

            I’m super excited for what this new project has in store.  I have so many things planned that I want to film (my graduation, any trips I go on, prom vlog) and I feel like this will help my blog as well because you guys will know me on a whole new level.  Most of all, I want to inspire people with this channel.  I want to talk about things, share stories, and anything else you guys want me to do.  This is for me, but it’s also for you too.

            I’m not sure how often I’ll post and what not (of course I decide to start making videos and then it rains for literally a week straight), but I am so excited to be doing this.  Things might get a little crazy when I’m in college, working, blogging, and making videos but I’m going to figure it out somehow.  So far I’m enjoying it far more than I thought I would and I’m so excited to see where this goes.  I feel like 2019 is going to be one of the best years ever.  And I’m so grateful for everyone who has already watched my video and all the compliments I’ve received.  I hope my content on my channel as well as on my blog will get a lot better and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you.

Monday, January 21, 2019

8 Healthy Habits to Master In 2019

8 Healthy Habits to Master In 2019

Welcome back, beautiful people!

            Guys.  I haven’t posted since LAST YEAR.  How crazy is that?  Well as you probably know by now, it’s a new year and let me tell you, I’m super stoked for 2019.  Exciting things are going to happen and it’s going to be a fantastic year. 

            In my last post, I talked about my 2018 New Year’s resolutions and if I followed through with them or not.  I thought this would be a good follow up to that post because I’m going to be talking about some ideas for your 2019 New Year’s Resolutions.  I hope this inspires you to make some of these your goals for this year because I know I’m going to try really hard to master them this year and I hope you’ll consider joining me. 

1.  Drink more water
You’d be surprised at the many things water can do for you.  Not only does it keep you hydrated, it helps regulate blood pressure, improves skin quality, relieves stress, and boosts energy.  I used to be terrible about drinking water (I’d drink maybe 2 glasses a day), but I’ve noticed a huge change to my overall health since I started drinking more water last year.  The average person should drink about 8 (8 oz) cups (about 2 liters.)  I recommend investing in a large water bottle because it helps you stay on track when you don’t have to keep refilling your cup throughout the day.  So this year, give up the sugary drinks and sodas and stick to water.

2.  MOVE!
            You guys are probably tired of hearing me talk about how important exercise is but I cannot stress it enough.  It’s so important to not only your physical health, but your mental health as well.  I like to workout especially when I’m having a bad day or feeling down.  Getting out the energy helps release all the bad feelings and gives your brain something else to focus on.  Exercising doesn’t have to be about losing or gaining weight, it’s about staying healthy and promoting a healthy lifestyle.  Even if it’s just an hour a week, get out and move!  You don’t have to go to a gym to do that either.  A home workout is just as effective and so is going for a walk/run, biking, and swimming.  Whatever it is, find a way to keep your body moving this year.

3.  Cut out negativity
            This is harder than it sounds because it took me years to actually do it.  By cutting out negativity I mean any negative people, places, or influences in your life.  These are the things/people that are preventing you from being your best self and living your life to the fullest.  Only keep the people/things that are encouraging you and helping you become the best version of yourself.  It shouldn’t be hard to determine who/what needs to go because subconsciously you probably already know.  It’s the people/things you get that “gut feeling” about.  The hardest part will be cutting them out, but it will ultimately make you so much happier- even if it takes you awhile to realize it.  I can promise you that this is one of the best decisions you will ever make.

4.  Get a planner and use It
            This doesn’t even have to be anything fancy; it can just be a notebook or pad of paper.  Whatever it is, find something to write down all of your appointments, tests, meetings, etc.  Having a place to write down all your events will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  Having a planner will make it easy to organize your life as well as prevent bad scheduling.  Take time at the end of the week to go over your plans for the upcoming week and make a schedule for your appointments and tasks.  This will help you manage your time wisely and if you follow your schedule, you will go to bed each night feeling satisfied with your days.

5.  Make a sleeping schedule and stick to it
            I think one of the most important factors in having good, productive days is the amount of sleep you get each night.  I used to be one of those people who would completely waste their day by sleeping/being lazy and waiting until nighttime to start any projects I had to do.  Let me tell you, you will be 100 times happier AND productive if you have a good sleep routine.  Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (yes, even on weekends.)  It may be a little hard to adjust to at first, but eventually your body will get into the habit of falling asleep and waking up at the same time every day on its own.  Also, try to avoid taking naps throughout the day and eating within an hour of going to bed.  These things will interfere with your sleeping routine and make it harder to go to sleep at night.  So, make it a habit to get into a good sleep routine and I guarantee you will be feel rested and energized each day which will allow you to be more productive.

6.  Practice self-care
            Do you ever feel like you’re so overwhelmed with school or work or things going on in your life?  Do you work extra hard to please someone and make them happy?  I think we’ve all been there and maybe you feel like that all the time, so that’s why I’m challenging you to make it a goal in 2019 to take better care of yourself.  You’re probably wondering “well how do I do that?” The answer is that it’s different for everyone.  Moreover, it doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive.  Maybe it’s just taking ten minutes out of your day to journal or draw, or taking time to do your makeup.  Treat yourself every once in a while.  For me, I spend the last few minutes of my day meditating, letting go of stress and forgetting my worries of the day.  I also attend a weekly yoga class.  I understand that maybe the things I mentioned aren’t for you, but this year I encourage you to take some time each day or each week and practice some form of self-care.

7.  Build your relationships
            This is one of my biggest goals for this year and I hope it will be one of yours too.  Instead of giving up and ignoring the problems in your relationships, learn to work through them.  The best way to build strong, healthy relationships with people in your life is to communicate.  By communication I don’t mean texting them once in a while or sending them memes on social media.  Make it a point to set aside time in your schedule to spend time with the people in your life.  Communication is one of the most important elements in your relationship with your family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.  So this year try to focus on taking time out of your week and work on building those relationships with the most important people in your life.

8.  Be positive
            Again, another thing that is easier said than done.  But I think what you’ll realize is that if you are already doing the other things I mentioned above, this one will become much easier.  It makes me so sad and unhappy when there are people who always choose to see the worst in every situation or let small irrelevant things get the better of them.  So this year, really try to focus on seeing the good in even the worst situations.  You’ve probably heard this before, but you attract what you are.  If you’re down all the time, let’s be real, no one wants to be around that.  However, if you make it an effort to stay positive and uplifting, you’ll be the type of person others desire to be around.           

            I think we all know at least one person that’s happy all the time.  How do they do it?  Well I can assure you almost 100% that there is no one who is happy ALL THE TIME.  However, if you do all of the things I listed above, you will be a changed person.  It all comes down to how you’re choosing to live your life.  If you fill it with negative influences and toxic relationships, you’re bound to have trouble.  On the other hand, if you fill your life with positivity, you’re already on your way to happiness.  In the end, then, it all comes down to lifestyle choices.  If you want to change your life, change your lifestyle.  The results may be slow, but I can promise you that they will change you and make you the best person you will ever be.

            I hope you will join me in mastering these goals in 2019.  I believe these are the things that are important for building a happy and healthy life.  So let’s do this together and make 2019 the best year ever!

Monday, December 31, 2018

Twenty Eighteen: Year In Review

Twenty Eighteen: Year In Review

Welcome back!

            It’s been awhile, so have you missed me?  Probably not.  Much has happened since the last time I posted and I plan to do a life update post soon, but not in this post.  I hope your holidays were as wonderful and tasty as mine.  I’ve been on Christmas break for almost two weeks now and this is the first time I’ve gotten to sit down and work on some projects I promised myself I would get done during Christmas break (weird how that always happens...) Alas, that did not go as planned but no worries because here I am now, finally accomplishing some things and writing a new post.

            As you may have noticed, another year is in the books (is it just me or did it go by extra fast this year?)  I really enjoy writing these year end review type of posts, so that’s what I’m going to do today.  Hopefully this won’t get too lengthy, so my apologies in advance.  Enough being said, here’s how 2018 went for me:

            For the first time, this year I made a list of New Year’s resolutions.  Normally I don’t do this, mostly because I don’t want to fail them (I’m that kind of person.)  But this year I tried it out so I wanted to share some of them with you and talk about how I either failed or succeeded at them.

  • ·         Wake up early
  • ·         Eat Healthy
  • ·         Exercise more
  • ·         Read the Bible everyday
  • ·         Start a journal
  • ·         Be organized
  • ·         Read at least 15 books
  • ·         Spend less time on devices
  • ·         Be more positive

Waking up early
            When you’re homeschooled, waking up in the mornings isn’t so easy.  I could sleep until noon if I absolutely wanted to.  In fact, I used to do that and it actually made me really unhappy because I would wake up and the day would be halfway over.  So this year, I made it a goal to wake up early/have a good sleeping routine.  I think it’s safe to say I succeed at this goal because I have a much better sleep routine and it’s made me so much happier because my days are so much more fulfilling, versus sleeping through half of it. 

Eating healthy
            I’ve never technically been a “bad” eater.  My mom was never the mom at the grocery store with a cart full of junk food with packs of energy drinks hanging over the sides.  But I still wanted to do better this year and I actually ended up giving up all red meat (pork and beef.)  Not only for environmental reasons, but because I never liked eating those foods in the first place.  I would eat them if they were put in front of me, but this year I completely gave it up and I’ve never been such a happy eater in my life.  I like to call myself a “partial-vegetarian” and someday I hope to cut out all meat completely.  I’m extremely happy with the progress of my diet this year and I hope I can continue good eating habits in 2019.

Exercising more
            Okay so I already did a post on my fitness story (you can read that post here), but I’m really proud of myself for being a lot more active this year than I was before.  I started to enjoy going on walks, bike riding, and other outdoor sports I never thought I would actually like.  Fitness has become an activity I like now and I feel so good after a workout.  I would also like to point out that I’m not working out to gain or lose weight; or maintain a certain body image.  In my opinion, fitness and exercise should be about staying healthy in general and not trying to make yourself look a certain way.  I’m definitely proud of the progress I’ve made this year, and although anyone can look at me and not notice a difference, I can clearly see the progress I’ve made since I started exercising and that’s what matters to me.  For those interested, I plan on doing a workout routine post sometime; however, I like to change my routine up from time to time so I don’t get tired of doing the same workouts.  In other words, I don’t have a “consistent" routine I stay with for a long time.  Overall, I’m super happy with the progress I’ve made and I hope to be even more active in 2019!

Reading the Bible everyday
            This is also an area in my life where I’ve made some big changes this year.  To give you a short summary of my religious background, I was baptized when I was 9 (I think) at a church I had been going to for a while, but no longer attend.  Since then, my relationship with God has been through some rough patches over the years; and until this year, I was not in a very good place with God.  However, after many years of soul searching and church hunting (which is not easy), this year I finally found a church where I feel as if I belong and going there has really helped me deepen my relationship with God.  I have not read the Bible every day as I said I would, but I have been reading it a lot more frequently and my faith has become so much stronger this year.  There are still times when it gets hard, but I’m in a better place with God than I ever was so getting through rough patches is much easier now that I have a strong relationship with God.

Starting a journal
            This is where I begin to fail.  I’ve journaled off and on for years, but I’ve never kept up with it as I keep saying I will.  I started out strong this year, but unfortunately I never made it to the end of January (I know, so far.)  At this point I can probably conclude that journaling just isn’t my thing at all.  However, I did start something else this year.  Every day of 2018 (minus only a few days) I wrote down something on a piece of paper, folded it up, and put it in a Kleenex box.  On the paper I wrote down something good that happened that day.  Some days it was just little things, but even if it was a bad day I still had to write something down.  I haven’t looked back at any of them yet so I’m excited to go through and read them at the end of the year.  For this new year, I plan to do the same thing but instead of writing them on slips of paper, I got a gratitude journal for Christmas so I’ll be using that to write things down in there instead of the slips of paper.  I would highly encourage you to do this too because it helps you to see the good in even bad days or situations.  Doing this has helped me realize there is always something to be grateful for even if it’s just being alive. 

Be Organized
            I have always been a very organized person.  Physically and mentally.  For the most part, my room stays clean and uncluttered.  This year, I also stared using a weekly planner to write things down in.  Needless to say, it has helped me a lot and now I have an obsession with planners.  Not that I couldn’t remember things before; however, writing things down helped me a lot to have a plan for each day as well as remember school assignments and such.

Read at least 15 books
            I wanted to read this year more than I have the past few years.  Recently I’ve had trouble focusing during reading which had caused me not to read as much as I used to.  This year I really wanted to make it a goal to try to read more, which I did; however, I don’t think I reached my goal of 15 books.  I did read a lot more than I did last year though and I’m pretty happy about that.  I’ve recently been hooked on Sarah Dessen’s books (so cheesy but they make good easy reads.)  I hope to continue reading more in 2019 because it’s such a good hobby to have and I’ve learned a lot from books.  There’s nothing like the feeling of settling down to read a good book (and getting mad when your favorite character dies.  Book nerds can relate.) 

Spend less time on devices
            I, along with millions of other people on this earth, am guilty of spending too much time on my devices.  I don’t know about you, but this is something that annoys me because it can be a difficult habit to control.  These days it seems harder and harder to put down your phone and live in the real world.  What do we do when we’re bored?  Check social media.  What do we do when we need to speak to someone?  Text them.  What do we do when we look good?  Take selfies on our phone.  What do we do when…okay you get the point.  I tried hard this year to keep some distance between me and my phone and I have to say, I’ve done pretty well but not as well as I would have wished.  I could be better about putting down my phone and finding more productive things to do with my time.  So this year, I’m making it a priority to decrease the time I spend on a screen.  And I’d like to challenge everyone to this as well.  Make it a point to be present and in the moment because sometimes we miss things happening in the real world when we’re too concerned about what’s happening in our digital world.

Be more positive 
            This is probably the hardest and easiest goal of the whole year.  It was hard for me because I struggle with staying positive.  I’m not the kind of person that’s happy all the time.  There’s times where I’m depressed and it’s hard to even get out of bed and face the day.  However, those moments did not happen as frequently this year and it’s probably the biggest change I’ve made all year.  Looking back at how I got to where I am now, it all has to do with lifestyle choices.  Primarily the things I’ve listed above, along with a few other things which I want to talk about briefly.

This year I cut out all negative influences in my life and people who were not making a positive impact on me and my life.  Instead of investing in these unhealthy relationships, I chose to invest in relationships with people who are positive influences on my life and that’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  I can legitimately say I’ve been genuinely happy this year and probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time. 

2018 has been the year of healing and moving on.  I moved on from things I was doing and going through that were not healthy.  Was it easy?  Definitely not.  There were times when it got super hard, but I knew in the end it would and will be worth it.  Healing is a process.  I’m still in that process, taking things day by day and some days are harder than others.  I know to some people it won’t seem like much, but to me I can see every small change making a big difference in my life.  I know I have changed in the best ways possible and those changes are helping me live a life I didn’t even know was possible.  And that was the best part of this year.

This year has been one of the best ones yet!  Thank you if you’re still here reading this…your support means the world to me!  I’m extremely grateful to be sharing my journey of life with you (for almost 2 years!)  I hope that God has blessed you as much as He has blessed me this year, and I pray that 2019 will bring joy and happiness into your life and that you will have a wonderful new year!

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

A Broke Girl's Guide to Buying Makeup

A Broke Girl’s Guide to Buying Makeup

So you may remember a few months back when I did a post about my favorite makeup products (see post here).  I’m going to do something similar to that in this post because frankly, I’m tired of spending money on expensive makeup that doesn’t live up to its price.  And if I’m right, so are you.  There is literally nothing worse than spending hard earned money on something that doesn’t work or is a bad quality product for the price you spent on it.  That’s what’s been happening to me lately and I’m soooo over it.  So today I’m here to tell you about some amazing makeup that won’t break your bank account.

Okay so I understand if you’re making millions of dollars on Youtube and your clothing line and you have money laying around to go spend at Sephora 3 times a month, but some of us don’t have that kind of luxury.  Personally I don’t understand why some people will buy the new Urban Decay palate JUST BECAUSE there’s a shade called “pumpkin spice shimmer”.  And can we just talk about multi-level marketing companies such as Younique and Mary Kay?  Makeup is already tempting enough but now you have your own family and friends trying to sell you $100 worth of makeup you don't need. Like what kind of drug dealing is that?

All jokes aside, I have nothing against expensive makeup companies.  If that’s how you want to live your life, you do you girl.  But for those of you that are like me and are tired of this makeup nonsense, let me introduce you to some products that might make you actually like makeup again.

Maybelline Baby Skin Instant Pore Eraser

You’ve heard of the Porefessional primer by Benefit?  Well picture that but for less than half the price.  That’s basically what this primer is.  I’ve been using this primer for about a year now, and I can honestly say every word in the title is true.  It shrinks your pores AND leaves your skin feeling soft like a baby's.  It also makes your foundation go on so much smoother.  I use this pretty much every day.  You can also wear it just by itself without feeling like you’re wearing a lot of makeup.

Maybelline Fit  Me Dewy + Smooth Foundation

             I’ve struggled in the past with foundations because of my extremely sensitive skin.  So when this product came out about a year ago, I was curious because I had never tried a dewy foundation before.  I tried it and ended up loving it.  At first I was nervous about wearing it on a daily basis since foundation can make my skin weird and cause breakouts, but now I wear it pretty much every day and have had fewer breakouts than normal.  Just for reference, I’ve also tried the matte version of the Fit Me foundation and now that I’ve tried both I can say I like the dewy finish much better.  It is definitely worth the price and looks amazing! 

E.L.F. Beautifully Bare Concealer Stick

            I’ve found that E.L.F. products are either a hit or miss.  Some of their products turn out super great, and others don’t.  But this concealer is definitely one of the better products they’ve made.  I like concealer sticks because they are super easy to apply, and this particular one looks beautiful over the Fit Me foundation.  It is also great for concealing blemishes, but I usually just put it under my eyes (to cover the fact that I never sleep lol).  This is one of my favorite E.L.F. products and looks much better than some of the more expensive concealers I’ve tried before.

Revelon Colorstay Pressed Powder

            I’m not even going to lie; I’ve been using this powder ever since I started wearing makeup like five years ago.  My mom started me out on this powder and it’s just always worked for me so that’s why I’ve stuck with it.  Again, it pairs beautifully with the other products I’ve already mentioned and is so simple to put on, even on a day when you’re not wearing a lot of makeup.  I don’t set my face, so this is perfect to put on top of your foundation and gives your face a finished look.

E.L.F. 3-in-1 mascara

            I’ve talked about this mascara before in my other post, so I’m not going to say much about it here.  I still use this mascara every day and love it so much.  It looks great and lasts all day without getting under your eyes so if you’re looking for a good inexpensive mascara, I would definitely recommend this one.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara

            So this is probably the only high brand makeup product that I actually like and wear on a daily basis.  I actually got it on sale for half off at Ulta (I don’t think I love it enough to pay full price).  The way I do my mascara is very specific so please bear with me for a moment while I explain.  First I apply a thin layer of the E.L.F. mascara and then layer this over the top.  The E.L.F. mascara provides a nice base and the Better than Sex provides the volume.  The E.L.F. mascara also helps the Better than Sex stay on better and last longer. People always think wearing two mascaras seems weird or something but I think these two go so well together!  If I'm not going out or don't have a lot of time to do my makeup, I just wear the E.L.F. mascara on its own.

Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick by Kate Lipstick

            I mentioned these in my other makeup post, but these lipsticks are my absolute most favorite things in the world.  I’m pretty sure I own almost every shade because they’re just so amazing!  They are super cheap and stay on for a long time.  They do tend to dry out my lips sometimes in the winter, so make sure you put on Chap Stick (which you should be doing anyway).  This lipstick completes my look and is probably my favorite part of my makeup routine.

the finished look! 

Some other tips for buying makeup:

  • Always read reviews first
  • Look online for coupons
  • Don't buy something just because "everyone uses it"
  • Shop at Ulta (they have stores everywhere and always have good deals!)
  • Make sure you get the right shade
  • Cheap price does not always mean cheap quality
  • Buy whatever you want because it's your life

That’s all for today!  I hope you enjoyed and maybe even try out some of these amazing products.  I’ll see you in my next post!

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Updates and Other Random Stuff

Updates and Other Random Stuff

Hello and welcome back!
My last post was in…let’s see…July.  It’s currently September 4th.  It’s been awhile, so I thought I’d give you guys some updates on what’s been going on and talk about a few things I’ve been wanting to talk about.  So this isn’t going to be as structured as a normal post (laughing at myself because NONE of my posts are ever structured), it’s going to be a bunch of random thoughts compiled together so I hope at least some of this makes sense.

Where I’ve Been

First of all, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been.  I wish I could say I’ve been traveling the world doing really cool stuff, but unfortunately that’s not the case (as much as I wish it was).  I’ve been here, sitting at my desk pretty much the whole summer.  The reason for that is because I took the SAT test a few weeks ago and spent a majority of my summer studying for it.  I know, what a fun way to spend your summer.  Then when I wasn’t studying, I was working pretty much all the time.  It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s what I was doing all summer.  Between the two of those things, I didn’t really feel like sitting down and writing blog posts.

Why I haven’t Been Blogging

            I kind of answered that in the last paragraph, but there is another reason that doesn’t have to do with me just being busy.  For the last month or so, I’ve sat down three or four times to write a blog post but every time it just wasn’t my best work.  I have this thing when I write that if the words aren’t flowing the right way and I have to force them out, it’s not going to work.  I absolutely hate reading my writing when I feel forced to write or when I’m just not in the mood.  That’s what happened the last few times I’ve tried to write posts.

            Another reason is because of my lack of creativity.  I know I say this like five times a year, but writers block is real and it happens to pretty much every writer.  This doesn’t mean I don’t try or I don’t have ideas.  I do, they just haven’t been coming out the way I want them to.  I haven’t felt inspired by anything to be able to write something.  If I don’t feel inspired, it’s not going to happen.  At least in a way that sounds good enough to share.

            I’ve also been thinking a lot about the content of this blog.  I keep thinking and telling myself that I write too much about myself and talk about me a lot.  Many of the posts I tried to write were things about me and I kept telling myself, “Everything can’t be about you, you know”.  But then I said, “No, it can on this blog.  It’s my blog and my space to talk about whatever I want”.  So that’s been my dilemma regarding what I post.  My goal, however, is to get back on somewhat of a schedule soon so there will be new content coming.

Mental Health

            I believe mental health is SO important in a person’s life.  Just making sure you are taking care of yourself is important and oftentimes we tend to get wrapped up in the busyness of life that we forget to take care of ourselves.  I know I can relate to that a lot.  I wouldn’t say my mental health is declining; it’s just a little shaky at the moment.  Ever since the beginning of the year I’ve been in a pretty good place with myself and others around me- and still am, it’s just getting to the point where I have to be careful with everything I choose to allow into and influence my life.

            I’m saying this not only about myself, but for other people.  I’ve struggled and faced a lot of challenges this year, most of which I’ve chosen to deal with alone and silently (I know what you’re thinking, and yes I may sound hypocritical at times, but I learn from my own mistakes).  But I just want you to know that it’s perfectly okay to take a step back from something or someone that is preventing you from taking care of yourself and your heart.  That’s the key to mental stability.


            I’ve had a lot of people ask me if I’ll ever vlog or start a YouTube channel.  The answer to that is probably not.  Although I do enjoy watching vlogs, it’s never something I would personally want to do.  I’ve never been super comfortable just talking to a camera.  Making those kinds of videos takes a LOT of work.  I am definitely not saying blogging isn’t a lot of work (it is), but to make a video you have to have: good lighting (which my house does not), take the time to film AND edit, plus the most important part which is having something to film.  I’m not good at just picking up a camera and filming what’s going on.  A lot of times whenever I’m at an event or with someone, I like to take one or two photos to have, but I try to live and be present in the moment.  I think having a camera out all the time would take away from that.  So no, I’ll probably never vlog or make videos.  Words are my specialty and I plan to stick to blogging for as long as possible.

Collaborations and Guest Posts

            The last thing I want to talk about is collaborations.  I’ve wanted to collaborate with someone for the LONGEST time.  The problem is that I don’t know who to collaborate with.  I want to open this invitation to anyone who has ANY interest at all in writing or blogging.  If you are interested, please contact me through email (beautyinthisbrokenness@gmail.com), Instagram (@beautyinthisbrokenness), or through my Facebook page (Beauty in This Brokenness).  You don’t have to have any experience with blogging, but if you have any interests in sharing your writing, I would be more than happy to work with you.  I’m open to many topics (ex. Lifestyle, beauty, health and fitness, mental health); I just request that you stay away from politics or anything to controversial (we’re just trying to stay positive around here).  So please let me know if you are interested at all!

I think that wraps up everything.  As I said, I’m hoping to resume to somewhat of a normal schedule soon so be on the lookout for new posts.  I’ll talk to you soon!

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Finding Freedom in Fitness: My Journey

Finding Freedom in Fitness

When I was younger, I never wanted to exercise.  I wasn’t on any sports teams, and because I was homeschooled I didn’t have any kind of Physical Education class.  I hated running and walking farther than a few feet.  My parents always encouraged me to be physically active because I would “regret it later if you don’t start now”.  The state law says that children aren’t allowed to ride in the car without a car seat until they weighed 100 pounds.  I didn’t weigh 100 pounds until I was about 10 years old (far behind most girls my age).

I never worried about exercising when I was younger because I was so skinny.  Extremely skinny.  My friends that were my age could pick me up easily because I was so light.  I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain any weight.  I never had a problem with any of this and it was all great until it came to get new pants.  I hated pant shopping, and still do.  No pants ever fit me.  When I was finally big enough to wear an extra small in the juniors department in tops, I was still wearing a size 10 in children’s pants.  I was also pretty short which made things even worse.

Last fall I got fed up.  I was tired of being tiny and not being able to wear anything.  I decided that I needed to gain weight in order to be able to wear the clothes I wanted.  So I would eat and eat and still not have anything to do with exercise.  I didn’t notice any significant changes and I was still sewing the waist of my pants to make them smaller.  One day, I just thought “what am I doing?  Trying to get fat just to be able to wear my jeans?” And I realized, what I needed to do wasn’t just sitting around waiting to gain enough weight, I needed to become stronger and gain more muscle instead of fat.  The only way to do that was to workout.

I watched some videos on fitness to get inspired and motivated (because honestly I had NO clue where to start).  This is when I found Sam Ozkural.  I started watching some of her videos and she is AMAZING (I highly recommend checking her out).  One day in September, I put together an exercise routine and gave it a try.  I have to say, it was hard.  My body wasn’t used to using up all that energy at once.  But after I finished that first workout, it felt amazing.  Not so much the next day, however.  My legs were so sore I could barely move.  But I felt better than I ever had before.

At first, it was really hard to stay motivated.  The first few months I had a hard time staying focused and on a schedule.  It was hard not seeing the improvements right away.  It was hard to get through the workouts because I was getting tired in the middle of them, but I kept going.  Kept pushing myself harder each time.

Almost a year later, so much has changed.  I’ve been working out consistently 3-4 times a week and I love it.  I can get through the sessions now without getting too overwhelmed or tired, and it is sooo rewarding afterwards.  I still feel tired after a workout, but it’s a good kind of tired.  I can endure longer days without becoming exhausted.  I’ve noticed changes in my body too.  I’m much stronger now (it’s not super visible yet but the muscles are there!), my stomach muscles are stronger, and I’m in much better shape than I was before. 

Now I look forward to my workouts instead of dreading them.  Now I don’t exercise to gain or lose weight.  I don’t obsess over the models on Instagram and try to look at them.  Because I don’t think that should be the purpose of fitness and exercise.  It’s okay to be skinny or a little heavier, every body type is beautiful.  Because it’s YOUR body.  God didn’t make you to look exactly like someone else.  You are unique and special in your own way.  At the end of the day, it’s about being confident about who you are and how you were made.  And that’s what fitness is about for me.

P.S. I still can’t fit in any pants and that will probably be a struggle for the rest of my life