Love Part 3: Relationships
February 18, 2018
Love
Part 3: Relationships
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear
has to do with punishment. The one who
fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
By the time this post goes up, it will
be passed Valentine’s day, so I hope you had a wonderful holiday (is
Valentine’s Day considered a holiday?) but even though Valentine’s Day is over,
we still have two more posts left in the love series and today we’ll be
continuing on with part three. If you
haven’t caught up with parts one and two, you can catch up by clicking on the
links below:
So today is all about
relationships. Whether or not you are or
aren’t in one currently, this post applies to you so don’t skip it just because
you’re sitting there thinking “well I’m single so I don’t need to read
this”. I hear you, but please stick
around and hear me out.
See, relationships are tricky. I had a hard time trying to figure out what
to write about for this post, because no matter what I say or no matter what
you read on the internet, it really comes down to you. I can’t tell you how to obtain a perfect
relationship because every relationship is different, and there really is no
secret recipe to having one. Sure, there
are things that can help keep a relationship healthy and good, but you
shouldn’t shape your relationship or a future relationship around what you read
on the internet or hear from other people.
Why? Because I used to do that. All the time, whether I had one or not, I was obsessed with reading those posts on social media that say things like “how to know if you have a good boyfriend/girlfriend” and “10 signs you have an unhealthy relationship”. I would use those things to shape my idea of what a relationship was supposed to be, and not based on my beliefs or what the Bible says.
If you really want to know exactly what
a perfect relationship looks like, the answers are in the Bible. A good example is in Ephesians 4:2-3 which
says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in
love. Make every effort to keep the
unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace”.
All of those things are qualities you want to have in your relationship. Love does not exist without patience or
gentleness.
As for what to look for in a
significant other, the only person that can tell you that is yourself. I strongly disagree with people who think
they know exactly who they’re going to be with forever when they meet
them. I mean, sure it may be possible
for some people, but really you don’t know someone you just met. They may have a good first impression, but
that impression doesn’t always last.
That’s why dating is a thing. If
everyone just married the person after seeing them one time, can you imagine
how high the divorce rates would be then?
The thing is that it takes time to
REALLY know someone, and to really know if you want to be with them for a long
time. I don’t think it’s possible to
know that after a few days. You have to
love everything about them, even their flaws, which isn’t always easy. We tend to not like flaws and try to change
someone, instead of just embracing them for who they are. I think that’s one of the biggest things I’ve
learned over the years, because no one is ever perfect and part of loving
someone is accepting their flaws.
I realized something a few months ago that
changed my view on relationships. When
you’re young, relationships can be fun and all, but after a while, you’ll get
tired of it and want something “real”.
One day I sat down and said to myself “why would I just keep putting
myself through the same situation over and over when I could just save myself
the trouble and wait until I have that real one”. That’s what I’ve stuck to ever since. I don’t want to be in a relationship just to
put it as my Facebook status and snap a few pics. It’s not worth it to me when I can spend that
time growing as a person and enjoying life while I wait for that special person
to come into my life.
Honestly it’s one of the best places
to be in. I can’t lie and say it’s not
hard sometimes. There are definitely
times when I feel down and lonely, but that’s just part of the process. I’m a dreamer and I loveeee to fantasize
about what my future will be like. It’s
one of my favorite things to do. For a
long time I used to put certain people in those dreams, but now whenever I
daydream it’s like just an outline of someone I have yet to meet, and that’s
the best part about the dream is thinking and dreaming about the day when that
figure won’t be an outline anymore.
The most important thing is to be content. Be content with where God has you now, and
know that He has the best plan already sketched out for your life. You’ll spend a lot less time stressing and
worrying about your life if you let Him guide your path and trust in His plan. Just as it says in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in
the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all
ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.
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